MISSOULA – City officials estimate this morning that the UM FLAT, a popular demonstration house in the University District, has gone missing. “We haven’t seen the house anywhere for several hours,” reports one patrol officer on duty during today’s blizzard. While the house’s whereabouts have not been determined, general consensus among neighbors is that the University has removed the property entirely to make room for the new UM Temple of Undetermined Religious Affiliation (TUNDRA).
FLAT residents were unavailable for comment on account of sepulture, though police continue to search nearby snowdrifts. “We don’t have much hope given the low visibility, but the dunes are quite fetching.”