FLAT Missing, Replaced by University TUNDRA Initiative

MISSOULA – City officials estimate this morning that the UM FLAT, a popular demonstration house in the University District, has gone missing.  “We haven’t seen the house anywhere for several hours,” reports one patrol officer on duty during today’s blizzard.  While the house’s whereabouts have not been determined, general consensus among neighbors is that the…

Apply to live at the FLAT!

Right now we are looking for great candidates to live in the FLAT next year.  If you are a creative, self-motivated, respectful, and aesthetically-minded team player who is willing to join a dynamic and progressive community, we hope you’ll consider applying.  Living here requires a time commitment of 10-15 hrs/week developing and implementing individual and…

Intoxicated Resident Blows Beer Money on Garden Supplies

MISSOULA – Residents in the area of Missoula, Montana may have noticed a dramatic delay in package delivery services last Wednesday as shipping companies diverted trucks to the University District.  The mass diversion occurred as companies were forced to accommodate the sudden, heavy influx of gardening supplies, seeds in particular, to the UM FLAT.  Delays…

FLAT to Consider International Day of Love

I will not play at tug o’ war. I’d rather play at hug o’ war, Where everyone hugs Instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles And rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, And everyone grins, And everyone cuddles, And everyone wins. by Sheldon Allan Silverstein

FLATGate Scandal Exposed!

MISSOULA – Social media exploded this past week as information was leaked revealing the FLAT’s private efforts to insulate itself from a failing economy.  Widely regarded as the very cause of the University’s questionable financial security in 2014, the FLAT has repeatedly come under fire for mismanaged funds, labor abuses, and withholding information from the…