New FLAT Experiment Kitchen: Off with a Bang

At last, the UM FLAT experimental kitchen has kicked off with its inaugural venison cookout!  We will periodically bring you our latest and greatest recipes from great local chefs like Nick “Bumper” Triolo and Kate “The Hair” Stanley.  A former member of the Bay Area Roadkill Federation and current chef-in-residence at the FLAT, Mr. Triolo brings us this week’s recipe all the way from his travels on US 200.  So get out your car keys, stoke that fire, and dig in for some uggified ungulate!

Ongules de L’autoroute

Directions

  1. The key to this delicious recipe is the velocity of your car relative to that of the deer.  For optimal tenderizing, it is recommended that you aim for the side hind-quarters of the deer, preferably a buck, at about an 80-degree angle.  Chrome bumpers will give you a slightly chewier texture, but good old-fashioned steel bumpers will provide that extra impulse that can mean the difference between tasty and “mm mm good!”
  2. If you are not the lucky hunter on the road, the best pickings are within a day of being bebumpered.  Be careful of buckshot, says Triolo, since the deer may have begun to degrade due to law enforcement and poor gun control.
  3. If no pickup truck is available, lay a tarp in the back of your Subaru and aerate for 4 to 6 minutes on low defrost.  In summer months, consider including gas masks.
  4. Once your tenderized prize is safely in your backyard, hang, skin, and butcher.  You may prefer to remove the maggots but, says Triolo, leaving them in will add some of that earthy, local flavor.  Consider this especially when paired with red wines or seasonal vegetables.
  5. Place meat on fire.
  6. Add salt to taste

We hope you enjoy this dish as much as we did!  Join us again for more Experimental Kitchen recipes, including such international favorites as Pollo de Defenestracion and Panya na Mguu Frittata.  Until then, drive safely!

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